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Finding a Fool (Me)I found a shining jewel
Deep inside your heart
It was buried in the dark
But I manage to find that precious thing
Happiness is such a strange thing
To be found in the most unexpected places
So the dream passed you by
A new ones just waiting for you to get up
I’ve been meaning to ask
Did you find your friend?
You were away for so long
I almost forgot why you left
Oh, I feel like such a fool
I know I need not say a thing
But when such a thing happens
It’s hard not to feel sad
They gave you a present
Precious such things are
Hold it dearly my friend
Not so, that you go mad
Jewels are everywhere
Blind to many we are
Poignant nostalgia is hard
In it though, can come happiness
For a future, unsure
Not so anymore
Tell me from your mind
Did it really feel like you were blind?
Notes of ForgivenessTelling them wisely
Telling them strangely
Telling them without hesitation
Linked to the past
Linked To Tomorrow
Linked to nowhere
Nowhere but home
Dared into a decision
Dared into a future
Dared into a hope
Hope that can be shattered
Hope for love
Love for hope
If You Don't Mind Me (This Way Forever)You look so beautiful in the moonlight
I’m sick of being stuck in limbo
Just grab ahold of me tight
And we’ll face the day tomorrow
If it is only love, if it’s only
Then why do I care so much
If I’m left to be so lonely
Longing for one friendly touch
If I am so beautiful
Why can’t anyone look at me?
Are you telling a fable?
Aren’t words spent cheaply?
You say I’m so wonderful,
How do you know?
Am I really such a jewel?
A diamond in the unknown…
I’m just glad I have you in my life
You hold the personal demons at bay
I thought I was such a lowlife
With you, there was no need to pray
Every day is like a fantasy screenplay
I hope this is not merely a sad dream
This feeling of the freedom of endless roadway
Please, no more false morphine
I don’t think I could handle if this happiness
If all of this was delusion, some sort of sickness
I just know it can't be
Good Day, Sunny DayLoving yourself is hard enough to do
Why would I try and curse you
To try and love someone else
But that is just my own view
Love with your whole heart
As long as it’s true
You’ll always love yourself
Everyday feels brand new
Just hold me a little closer
A little bit tighter
Tell me it’s alright
The sun is too bright
If I could sing for you, I would
I can’t really dance, but if I could
The only proof I find are in my words
Those are my only truths
Hello new love, how are you
Hello old love, nice to see you
It’s a beautiful day
Let’s go play in the sunny rays
To Be YoungTurn away from me
Sweet love of mine
I don’t deserve your smile
Or a moment of your glance
I was crazy to forget you
Crazy still, about you
I can’t forgive myself
SO why should you
Your hand on my lower back
My arm wrapped around you
Barely a word spoken
Unease fills the silence
Words we failed to say
In the company of friends
Emotions left unexpressed
The void inside us remains unfilled
Hallow words are exchanged
As I walk away to find a friend
A young girl say hello
As I leave the building
To be young again,
I would still be alone
I know this to be true
Cause I wouldn’t change a thing
Hedgehogs DilemmaEarly this morning, I woke up to find
Myself in a position I’ve never been before
It’s such a strange feeling to have
To not know what I should do
I opened my front door, and looked outside
To see who has such a loud snore
It’s my best friend, asking for some salve
It was then I noticed the tattoo
So I opened my medicine cabinet
Grabbed the salve, and returned to my troubled friend
I started rubbing the salve on the tattoo softly
And I heard the sleepy-head’s sigh of relief
With that my mind was set
I went to make breakfast, for when they woke from their makeshift bed
Who knew that such a thing ran through me so deeply
I thought I had lost my belief
Midnight RendezvousAs he walked through his front door; suit jacket over his shoulder, tie and collar undone, and a cigarette dangling from his mouth, he knew someone else was in the room. “You might as well come out, I know you are there.” And to his surprise they showed themselves. “Well this is a shocker…” and not just because they showed themselves, but because it was a young woman. At around 5’6”, an accentuating red dress on, dirty blond hair, and blues eyes like an ocean you could get lost in he couldn’t believe she was the one.
“What gave me away?” she said with a gentle smile on her face. “The carpet was wet and it stopped raining at least 45 minutes ago.” so she had been there a while. “Oh, I was so worried about myself I must have forgotten. I guess you can’t always be perfect can you.” “No, I guess no one can…” he said as he took a long drag off his cigarette. “Care for a drink?
Memories, Future, LifeI thought I had the answers
To those reasons why
Choosing is not the luxury of beggars
Please, allow me to say hi
I didn’t want to let go
Of all the memories the past had given
But how could I know
The past kept me from being driven
Memories, of love long ago
Friends found, and friends let go
Memories, you’ll always cherish
And those memories that seem to parish
I suppose it doesn’t matter anymore
The matters of my mind are sometimes fleeting
My ramblings are mostly made to ignore
Even if my mind and heart are aching
Future, spreading out before me
A maze of choices, far as I can see
Future, unknown like never before
So much is known, yet so unsure
Look into my eyes
And tell me what you see
My best friend looks and she cries
My ex looks and sees a desperate plea
It’s the same thing every day
Nothing changes anymore
There is not much left to say
Except it is starting to become a bore
Life, it never really stops moving
Even if you find yourself grieving
Morning InsomniaI’m slowly losing my mind
But it doesn't matter
I need to treat myself better
But truly, who really cares
I want to be loved
But who would love me
I’d like to be held
But who would share their arms with me
I need a kind word
But there are no words to be shared
I need just a smile
But there are no faces to be found
Oblivion Rests HereOblivion Rests Here
i have gathered my congregation,
and today you witness my church.
we are spirits, wandering ghosts,
souls holding hands
falling, spreading like rain
racing down windowpanes.
we are a mosaic of loose threads
falling from old scarves,
shrapnel that fell from fireworks,
leaves scattered across mud grain,
and ashes forgotten in wildfires.
but the forgotten souls sew love together,
wrapping whispers and skin
around each other like tornadoes.
and we rain down our message
like the King himself has touched down.
strands of hair, empty fingers, fluttering arms
all find themselves filled with warmth
in free rein, the sky embracing our veins
as we hold space
with c(h)ords of culminating ardor,
vocal cords strumming chants of freedom.
we sing louder than any choir
and hold each other tighter
than any thread count could.
tactile, textile, tensile
strength, we expose entities
with tractile virtue,
healing the exiled.
send Muhammad, Yahweh, Al
a dangerous hallucinationThe light coming through the window was bright,
much too bright.
Even though my eyes were closed
I could see it-
The skin of my arms prickled,
sweat dripped from my brow.
It was two in the afternoon but…
the sun was setting
through the window facing east.
I should have seen the hutch,
shelves lined with bone china
decorated with delicate leaves and vines.
I was so thirsty
and reaching for cups that should have been there.
Instead I found a billboard of butterflies,
the colors raging
more than any rainbow
I'd ever seen.
Their wings fluttered and flashed
yet somehow they moved in slow motion.
I wanted to stand,
wanted to reach out and touch them but…
I couldn't move,
and yet I laughed
ignoring my dry mouth
and the tingling in my feet.
There was a tempest
on the rise
and in my blood.
A sugar rush disguised
as a riot of butterflies
and they were swarming me.
There was a small vial
of insulin in my pocket
that I nev
The Cracks Of RealityI traced the tips of my fingers over her porcelain
Felt the skin raise in bumps of sensation.
My mouth fit so well into the crook of her neck
And as her her eyes closed, her breathing shaky,
I found myself swallowing and my heart beating twice as fast.
As her hips rolled into me, as her nails clenched into the sheets,
She told me once more that she loved me, and I assured her I felt the same.
But then reality came, settling into the cracks of my fantasies.
And she slipped from my fingers.
And I was alone.
Soles (Forest Girl)Soles (Forest Girl)
i didn’t believe in carving initials into trees.
i always told you that was corny to me.
i told you i was a city boy,
comfortable in car drafts
and gleaming lights
that dilute natural shine.
to the sight of airplanes,
police cars and helicopters
than anything else.
but you dreamed of wings
so much bigger than aspect ratio,
so much wider.
you were higher.
so that day you took me there,
i knew i was out of my element.
your forest stories teased me;
sitting on the edge of your shoe soles.
and that riverbank that you tiptoed on.
little smirk always flashing your white pearls
when you were whisking through this place.
holding my hand in a tight grip
as you gave me a tour of your hidden burrow.
i had never been so in--
and out of place before.
the atmosphere was brisk
glancing the hairs on my neck,
goosebumps rising on my skin
as i swore feathers fell from your shoulders.
purple streaks nuzzle orange bands
that hold together golden twines
homesick for childhoodshe was a carefree little girl
with smiles hidden deep down
in her pockets, and she'd only
give them out to the most deserving.
when the quarter hour of her life
struck, however, things changed.
her world was painted black
on accident, millions of shades
turned ashy due to a sickness
that breeds on those empty
spaces between words.
she was dropped into summer
covered in homemade scars,
and with summer, her innocence
was eaten away.
pinned to a bed
like prey, she watched herself
consumed into another
(this world is the 7 a.m. frost
left on winter windows.
and it scares me)
The UniverseThen suddenly there was matter.
There was time, there was life.
From the unfathomable nothing sprung forth our universe.
Our earth was born,
she, an angry mass of volcanoes and storms.
And life, oh that miracle, rose from the non-space.
A single microorganism,
whose name we will never know,
began turning the Evolutionary Wheel.
Earth had many inhabitants.
But here and now, she houses us.
Homo sapiens, her most gifted child.
We have made her surface angry as the beginning.
Machines of war replace the storm,
death flourishes in the garden of life.
In a hundred-thousand years our plights will matter not.
If the Homo sapiens lives still, he will be alien.
His old achievements as pathetic as the discovery of fire.
Even he will eventually cease to exist.
Several million years will rob him of his humanity,
whether through death or the persistence of the Wheel.
Billions of years will pass then.
Andromeda will embrace the Milky Way,
their fervent dance sending shockwaves through their solar sys
the days spent on the front stepsevery time you rip the lid off
the shell of styrofoam
questions your motives.
every secret you whisper into her naphthalene
stays there. it dies a little
as protein is scrambled. home is not a place.
her curve is ejected
as unidentified. it is bile
rolling back, the sheet of ebbing tide.
you always speak of horses
armoured, whisky clattering on their breath,
kingdoms burning and knights
riding off into the valley of deep sleep
you always speak of ships
leaving, pearly cord
as a farewell extending from coast
to hull forming an image of crying Mary
it shines in front of you
it calls out your name
yahwehIn fifteen hours I will be strung, pelvis
to sternum, ready to be struck
stomach aching to sing -
There was once when I was whole,
full and stretched to breaking,
I have been a giant in my own skin &
I was not enough to be loved.
& now, finger to thumb, you
swallow my spine in your palms
play my bones,
play my bones,
play my bones //
I am rising to throb
& thud & thrum
of pulse and breath and music
of mantra spilt-spoken,
smeared sacred over wrists
written with sweat & sex,
Muscles tensed for every chord,
Herein is the hallelujah -
You alone, you alone, you,
Hollow my belly and carve me
until I am fluted, crying out
between your hands
I have been too much to love,
every wire & tendon pulled loose
, I have been too much
& now you are here
& you play my bones
until the giant in my skin
becomes a rhythm
until I finally feel
I am enough!
You move me,
spine swallowed and sequestered,
I become holy beneath you
I was too much to love:
Why do you judge?Why do you have the need to judge with your signs?
Do you even know why I am here?
Am I here just because I do not want the responsibility to be a mom?
Am I here because I am not in the right place in my life where I can take care of a child?
Or am I here because I was raped and he didn't use a condom?
Don't you know it is going to hurt me in the long run after I do this?
So how do you sit there with your sings and judge people?
The sun is fading on the horizon
Darkness is filling the air around
Although the dark is not what it used to be
The light is not quite the same either
Fading whispers in the wind
Hide any form of meaning
Echoes surround my body
While the Julius river drifts slowly by
Soaring spirits sing above me
As rays of sunshine find my face
Like the last time I was here
I'm surrounded on all sides
Yet still so all alone
Leaves are falling slowly
While the bugs all dance around
And cause many ripples
In that slow drifting Julius river
What does it mean
To feel so all alone
Is it just a silence in your mind
Or when your feels so cold
My feet are getting tired
I think they need a rest now
I think they want to soak
In that soothing Julius river
The crow keeps on cawing
Out some crazy tale
My youthful in exuberance
Can't bear to hear again
The wind has started blowing
I'll take it as a sign to leave
As I glide down, the Julius river
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More